I'm Looking Through You
by lucy sinclair
Summary: "Craig! Craig look out!" I want to hold your hand sequal
1. All about us

**[Holy shit it's back! Ok so you asked for it- I already had it. And here it is. The first chapter of the IWHYH Sequal. Please take note that this is a spin off of the first one. Naturally my boys have new obsticals to overcome and challenges they have yet to face. Let me know how you like it.]**

I checked the two clocks in our room and felt a smile creep on my face. It was just about time. He'd be here in a few. I closed my laptop and climbed off our bed to the small living room. I really loved our apartment. It was just the right size. Big enough to have friends over, yet small enough to remain cozy. Our room was connected to the front room that was a split living room and kitchen, divided so by the tall bar-like counter, which I ducked down for no reason except for my own amusement. I peeked from behind to the door a few feet away. The floors were clean. I should know, I cleaned them myself. No movement. I rolled again like a secret agent from behind the counter top, to behind the smaller couch. Again, I snuck a look at the door; No movement. Come on! I was in position! I heard a click and smiled. It was time! I ducked back behind the couch and waited, getting on my back legs like a cat ready to pounce- I _was_ ready to pounce. The door opened and the familiar noise of clutter filled the room.

"Tweek, I'm home." A clatter of metal and glass- he just put his keys in the bowl on the table by the door. A wooden clatter- his phone and ipod have just been placed next to it. A thud- his bag went next to the coat rack. Cue the door closing. Yep. And the jacket on the coat rack. Check, "We get any mail today?" My fingers twitched and my legs muscles flexed in anticipation. One, two-

"Craig!" I lunged at my boyfriend.

* * *

Who would've guessed that I, Tweek Tweak, would be a well adjusted and normal adult. Well- not really. But compared to how I was- it's a rather drastic improvement. I mean I used to scream and run when someone so much as poked me. But now I can touch anyone. Not that I do! I'm not a whore! Not that sleeping around is a bad thing if you're smart about it! One of my oldest and closest friend is something of a whore! Heh- I guess some old habits- I.e. my slight paranoia and spazz attacks- die hard. But I'm much better at controlling them. I have many people to thank for getting where I am today. And I have one person to thank for the majority of the work.

Craig Tucker. My boyfriend of four years. Almost five. Tall, handsome, smart- a bit apathetic, but inside he's got the kindest heart I've ever known. He may be stoic and placid but, well- that is what makes him very sexy. Yeah- I'll openly say it. I love Craig and think he's the sexiest thing alive.

We've been through so much together. Sure he taught me how to touch people. But it goes deeper than that. He was my best friend way before we fell in love. He taught me to trust people, trust in myself, and that if I do my best- I can do anything. And we found that together; we could do anything.

We could graduate together, apply and get accepted into the same college, get jobs, and move in together. The road was bumpy and full of obstacles, but we did it. Sure we got a lot of help from our parents; Craig's parents knew the owner of these apartments an cut us a deal. My parents conveniently opened another Tweak Bros. by our apartment and lined us up with jobs when we first started out. It was easier than I would've thought moving in with my boyfriend would've been. And I couldn't be happier. Craig and I just work. I can honestly say I totally love my life right now.

* * *

"Got you-" I got caught by two strong arms, " Damn it!" He fucking knew I was there!

"I win today." He smirked. I tried to pout but he simply squeezed me and took my bottom lip between his teeth. Damn it- he knew just what to do….and where. I gave up and pulled him closer with my arms around his neck to kiss back. I felt his tongue playfully poke mine before he pulled away. Yep- we still made out like teenagers, and I didn't care.

"How was class?" I asked, letting him pick me up and walk us to our room. I kept his hips trapped in my legs so when he went to drop me on our bed, he went down with me.

"A bitch. The professor gave us another fucking paper to do by next week." He rolled over so I was laying on him. I ran my fingers through his bangs, his hair smelling strongly like the shampoo he used. I felt bad for him. I was just doing a small business and managing degree so I could take over the coffee shop completely, when I was ready, as co-owner. Total owner over my own branch. I wanted to get some knowledge on it before I attempted it. I was nearly done.

Craig however had more on his plate; job wise and school wise. He still had a few more years of school left- and he wanted to hold down a job too- but not in the shop with me. He didn't mind working in the new coffee shop with me for the first few months, but he said he didn't want things handed to him. So opted to find another job when he could. Though I wasn't sure what he meant by 'handed to him'- we worked just as hard as everyone else. Sure we probably got more in our checks than others because I was the owner's son and he was my boyfriend- but we were college students who needed the little extra help. Seemed fair to me. Then again, Craig and I have different views about a lot of things. Craig never liked other people helping him anyway.

So he decided to work in the student store at our college for a few years before he got a job bar tending at a popular club the students go to. It was a job that required a lot of patience and energy, but he gets tipped well [with the occasional lip stick marked bill or note with a number on it] and seems to enjoy 's attractive, so the manager let him work there even though he was only twenty at the time. Attracted more business apparently. But Craig doesn't care for being popular or hit on. He hates it actually. He shoots them all down, and likes to take me with him when he can so he can kiss me between drink orders. Discourages people's advances, he says.

I'm not terribly jealous about all the attention he gets, but I don't like _seeing _all those girls and guys hitting on him- so I didn't mind that our schedules usually conflicted so that it prevented me from joining him. "What? He can't do that! You guys are supposed to focus on the term paper! And the final!" Craig's professor was an ass!

"I know. He said that if we had been working diligently all term, that we should be already done with the paper and have no problem with another one while studying."

"But you have other classes- and a job!"

"I know. Tell that to professor dickhead." He sighed. Craig was exhausted- I could tell. I frowned and kissed the corner of his mouth. Then the other side, feeling the slight stubble of hair mixed with his soft skin. I traveled down to the tender skin of his neck and nibbled on his favorite spot. He grunted and wiggled his hips slightly. I was being a tease- I know. But I wanted to ease him into an idea that popped into my head.

"How about I throw hot coffee in his face?" I offered a smile. That was not my idea.

"Lovely thought- but I can't have you be in hand cuffs that we don't own, baby." He smirked. Where I would've screamed, I only blushed now. I swear he was such a pervert sometimes! But the truth is- we _did_ own a pair.

"Pervert," I shook my head and cupped his face to give him a short peck on the lips. He tried following me as I pulled away, but I kept his face firmly in my hands, "Let's order in today, yeah?" It would give him an opportunity to rest. It was his turn to cook today, but I didn't want him to have to worry about it. I didn't want to cook either [not that he'd let me when it wasn't my day] because he wouldn't be able to just let me do it- he would find some way to help me, _and _clean up afterwards, even when I tell him I could handle it. It was nice having a boyfriend that was so helpful, but he didn't know when to stop! Even when he's exhausted.

"No. It's my turn today." I wasn't done with my persuasion yet. I kissed him on the lips longer, getting caught in the soft and tender skin of his mouth. Craig wrapped his arms tighter on the curve of my lower back with his big warm hands. I nipped his lower lip. He tried to throw in some tongue in the kiss, but I pulled away again.

"Please?" I asked in a whisper, placing kisses on his jaw and neck again. It was a little scratchy but I grew to love it. I placed a slow open mouth kiss on the side of his neck, then blazed a trail back to his face with more. A shudder went through him when I licked below his ear. The movement shot through me as well. I felt my lips curve upwards when I saw his eyes flutter. He was so easy to turn on.

"No," So he said, but his voice lost all firmness. I could already feel him getting hard under me, "Deal w-with my b-bad cooking." Well look who's stuttering now. I couldn't help but feel a little proud at my work. I smiled triumphantly. These four years weren't for nothing. I mastered the art of seducing Craig.

"It's not that." I ran a hand from the top of his shirt to the bottom, slowly, then ran it back up under the material- his skin felt boiling against my palm. I was getting enticed by it. But I kept my objective clear in my mind- if I gave in to the urges now, I might lose what I was originally aiming for, "Cooking takes a long time and I'm kind of really-" I leaned in closer to whisper, "- horny." My pulse quickened even more at my own words. Changed or not- talking dirty still embarrassed me. But my statement wasn't untrue. The downside of trying to turn Craig on was; it got me turned on too. Craig moaning and moving in pleasure from me was always a good way to get the blood flowing down south. Maybe I'm overly sensitive- but the knowledge that Craig wanted me and liked it when I touched him always gave me goose bumps. I loved it.

"Tweek-" he tried again, but his hands already were feeling up my sweater, I was winning. I could feel small shudders break out from where he touched.

"Please Craig? I want you so bad." I placed my forehead on his and bumped our noses with a grade A smirk that I learned to imitate from the best; him. Craig merely growled and slammed his lips up to meet mine. I won.

"Fine." He said into my mouth. I was tuned to my back and forced out of my sweater. Craig stripped his shirt and wife beater off, then went down to kiss me hard. We were both eager- but sex for us was something of an art. So even with a hungry libido- everything was done carefully. We've been together for a long time. Only had sex with each other. While some may tell you that would get boring- it was always rejuvenating and invigorating like it was the first time. Better actually. We always took our time feeling each other. Even with quickies foreplay wasn't absent [though honestly our definition of a quickie isn't very quick]. Every part was important and cherished. We loved each other. Were in love with each other. We didn't just fuck- we made love. Every time was passionate and carnal and something only cheesy stories off the internet had. Sex with Craig was one of my favorite things to do- and I relished every moment.

"You need to throw away these ancient pants." He said huskily while fumbling with my belt. I laughed and shook my head.

"These are my lounging jeans, and you're just terrible at belts." I wore more form fitting clothes as the years went by- but I was able to get home early today so changed into my old baggy pants. They were comfortable! I reached up and undid his belt with ease. I unbuttoned his pants and slid the zipper down in one motion. Craig was still working on my jeans. It was funny. I could feel an amused grin nudge at the corner of my mouth.

Craig finally tore off the belt and yanked my baggy pants down off my hips. I kicked them off and watched as he took his off as well, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. I could never get over how nice of a body Craig had. He was a little thinner from his hectic schedule which caused him to skip meals, but he was still nice and lean- his washboard abs kinda creeped me out anyway [when he went through that phase]. So it wasn't all that disappointing that they weren't there anymore. His arms were still toned and sexy, but that happens when you lug around giant text books all day. I wasn't complaining!

"Like what you see?" He smirked at my blatant ogling, crawling back over me and kissing my neck. My eyes fluttered as he bit down on my soft spots. He was getting me back for all my teasing!

"Always have." I panted while he bit my shoulder. I reached up to grab his shoulders and pull him down. Our hips were digging into each other as we started kissing more vigorously. I yelped when his hand slithered down my abdomen and sunk into my boxers, grabbing my erection and pumping it a few shallow times. My hips wiggled faster from the movements, but I didn't let myself get swept away as usual. I still had some seducing left in me- I ran my fingers down his spine, as he usually liked, making him arch his back just the way I needed. Finally where I wanted him, I contorted us around so I was the one straddling his hips. He panted and looked up at me. I smiled and pulled his boxers off before discarding mine.

"And what are you doing?" He raised a brow but smirked, eyes pulsing with anticipation of what was to come. [pun totally intended]

"I'm going to ride you." I said with a little moaning in there, just to be a little tease again. I was having too much fun with this to stop now. His brows went up and his smirk widened a bit. It wasn't often I'd get overly libidinous, so I was sure Craig was enjoying the show, "Where's the lube?"

"Nightstand." He groaned desperately, already moving his hips for friction. I felt my thighs tremble as well. My want was growing as steadily as his and waiting was becoming harder to cope. I took it, squeezed some in my hands, and spread it over his dick, getting it nice and slick. I licked my lips as I massaged my fingers over his cock- god he was so hard. He thrusted up into my hand, moaning and getting antsy.

"Fuck Tweek- hurry." He begged. Having Craig Tucker begging would've been satisfying to my ego, but I was on edge myself. So as sexy as it was- he needed to be in me.

No more talking.

I positioned myself above his cock- not needing to prepare myself. It wouldn't hurt that much because we practically fucked every day. A little pain in the beginning was kinda erotic anyway. I took one last deep breath- still a little anxious. It was always like that was right before he entered me. I locked my eyes with his, then let my weight fall slowly down.

"Ah!" I shuddered as he began easing his way inside me. Somehow, every time still made me tremble. Probably because he was pretty big. I wouldn't know from comparing him to others since his was the only one I've seen- but when I was drunk one time with Kenny- he told me the average size and I laughed because Craig was a good inch and a half over it, and deliciously thick.

I balanced my hands on his chest and lifted myself up a few inches before going back down. The motion of him going in and out filled my body with tingles of pleasure.

"Tweek." He groaned lolling his head back and placing his hands on my hips. He made circles on my hip bones with his thumbs. I was slow at first, getting used to his thickness in me again. Soon I was picking up the pace with some encouragement from my boyfriend under me. Craig guided my movements with his hands, creating a good, steady rhythm. I gasped when he started meeting my thrusts. Breathing became erratic as he thrusted up into me when I would go down. It felt too good to be real, yet it was.

"Mm- yes!" I shouted. The best part about having our own place was that I could be as loud as I wanted. Craig's hips snapped up suddenly and hit my prostate rather harshly, paralyzing me with a familiar lurch in my abdomen. Tiny explosions within my stomach erupted, slowly swirling around into one ball of heat as he stayed connected to my prostate. My muscles twitched as he circled his hips, abusing the spot inside me. My mind went numb as he sat up and brought my thighs forward to sit me down on his lap and cock completely. He brought a hand up and around my mid back to trap me against his chest. He licked and nipped at my collar bone when he started up his thrusts again. My head fell back with a strangled moan escaping my lips. The things he made my body feel! He knew me too well. He knew what to do to get me to cum quickly. I could feel myself dangling off the edge already/ But I didn't want it to be over quite yet,

"Craig please- wait. N-not now." He knew what I meant. He merely grunted and pulled on my legs to move me faster with him. I dug my nails in his biceps, everything was blurring. My ears were ringing with the sounds of his pants and growls. We were both so close. He was in so deep it felt like he was trying to force our bodies to be one. I couldn't take it anymore. He finally wrapped both arms around me and leaned forward to get me on my back. Damn- I wasn't going to last. And by the way his movements became desperate and unstable with broken groans, he wasn't either. I moved my arms to his neck to cling on while he moved in and out of me harshly. It felt so good I thought I was going to get hopelessly lost in it, so I clung on to him and the last bit of sanity I had left.

"T-Tweek. Let go. I want- I want to kiss you." I forced myself to fall back to the bed. He leaned down and kissed me hard, tongue twisting with mine. His hand reached down to touch me, and I really did get lost in it.

I arched my back and moaned, letting go completely as he stroked my cock. My eyes shut as the huge wave of white hot ecstasy vibrated through me. I cried out his name and came in his hand, the ball of heat released all throughout my body. Craig thrusted a few more times- prolonging my orgasm and finally reaching his. After letting it run its' course, I collapsed on our bed. He let out my name with a breath and began slowing down until we were both entirely spent. His body fell on mine and he rested his face in my neck.

Wow.

That was- wow. It had been a while since we've had the chance to go at it like that.

Our pants filled the room while we collected ourselves.

"I love you, Tweek." Craig whispered lifting his head up and stroking my cheek. I could hear the love in his words. It was great loving someone, knowing they loved you back. He was so good to me. I smiled and cupped his face, leaning up to kiss him chastely.

"I love you too."

* * *

Craig and I were laying on the couch and eating some Chinese food. You can never really find a taste for it until you try a place other than City Wok I already had my fill and just left the small handful of food in my box on the table. Craig was chewing on the last of his chicken and flipping the channels. I yawned and plopped my head on the couch's arm.

"Hey! Turn it back! I love that show." I piped up catching a glimpse of one of my favorite shows. Craig yawned himself and kept channel surfing.

"No- every time you watch 1,000 Ways to Die, you get nightmares. And extra paranoid. It's like being fourteen all over again. Hell no. I told you that you aren't allowed to see it anymore."

" I do not get paranoid!"

"Yes. You do." So I did a little. But so what! Everything in that show is based off of fact! I'm just being cautious! _Cautious_! No paranoid! I'm not like that anymore! I pouted and crawled over to him. I'll have my way yet.

"Please?"

"No." I kissed under his jaw. He was going to let me watch it, mark my words.

"Please?"

"Stop it."

"But I want to see it." I kissed his neck and hugged him.

"God damn it Tweek, that's not going to work again." That's what he thinks.

"Let me watch it." I tried going for his lips but he shoved me back to the other side of the couch.

"I said no."

"You never let me watch anything."

"Nope." Ok- I have an ace in the hole. I crawled back and looked at him, widening my eyes a little.

"Craig. Please? Let me watch it?" Craig stared at me, his eye twitching slightly. At last he yelled out and switched it back.

"Fucking fine!" He growled angrily. That was ok though- because I won. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you." I said way too sweetly because I knew he didn't like bending to my will.

"Shut up." He grumbled and laid down. I got on top of him and rested on his chest.

This- this right here made me really happy. Not winning arguments [though that made me happy too] but being able to just be lazy and sit on the couch with him. It meant we were really living together. Little things like going to the grocery store with him, or eating together, or being able to lay around after having sex, even laying around and doing nothing; It all made me happy. Because it was so easy being with him. Like- we were so comfortable with each other. Able to live together and stuff. It probably makes no sense to other people. But that's ok. No one else needed to understand how happy I was to be able wake up in this small apartment, knowing it was a home Craig and I made, and being able to curl up next to Craig at the end of every day on our bed to sleep.

We've almost been together for five years. And it hasn't been exactly smooth sailing- it actually has been rather hard. But we were always able to get through it together. I really hope I could spend the rest of my life with him. I looked down at my promise ring he gave me when we were teenagers and smiled. So far he's kept it. I never take this off. Just like Craig never takes off his necklace with my key. Things were pretty much perfect.

"Oh my god! We need to get a fucking Co2 detector!" I screamed watching the girl die on the screen.

"We're fine Tweek." Craig rolled his eyes and tightened his hold around my waist, his cheek on my hair.

"No way man! If we don't get one we could die! You never open any windows!"

"That's it." Craig sat up, making me slide off his chest. He turned the TV off.

"No! I was watching that!" I grumbled and went for the remote. He kept it out of reach.

"Don't care. The next one looks gory and we aren't doing this tonight." Craig went to pick up the Chinese boxes. I stopped my fit and got up immediately to get the rest of the boxes and the empty paper cups.

"I'll do that." I went to our kitchen and threw them in our trash under the sink, before he could object. I saw a dirty bowl in the sink and washed it. I hummed, thinking of anything else I could do. "Did you want anything else? We have cookies and stuff." I dried my hands and went to the fridge.

"Nah- I'm good. Want to smoke?" One little habit Craig had not gotten over yet was his occasional indulgence in weed. And we never needed to worry about getting tested or anything because one- he had a medical card. Two- our jobs don't frequent drug tests. At least not for us.

"Can you?" I personally didn't care for it. A little less than usual. I guess it's just one of those things you grew out of. Craig did it occasionally when he wasn't busy, and never abused it so; I didn't mind he still liked it, "What about your paper?"

"I'll do it Saturday before work. Touch up on my term paper Sunday and do the rest of my homework. Not a lot." I did want him to relax. And he already did seem a lot less stressed after sex and the take out. Weed would probably be the icing on the cake to let him sleep peacefully.

"Ok. But not too much for me- I have to get in early tomorrow." I really hated that our schedules clashed. But at least we had now. Craig went to the top shelf of our cabinet and took out our 'stash'.

"Half a chocolate candy with me then." I snickered at that- the candy had funny memories for me.

"Ok." He unwrapped the half gone candy bar and broke a small square. He put it in his mouth and looked at me. I didn't get it at first, then smiled. Oh- sometimes he's just so weird. I put my arms around his neck and got a little on my toes, he grew a little bit more taller than me as the years went by. Not fair, but whatever. I was still almost as tall as him. Our lips pressed and we split with half a square in our mouths.

"So- what did you want to do for your birthday this year?" I flinched and pursed my lips at the subject, then went back to straightening up the kitchen. Craig went to the front room and got all his books together.

"I don't really care. Almost forgot about it." That was a lie. It was next week on a Friday. I hoped Craig would forget. He had exams all next week and worked. On top of that he had to turn in his application for a summer program for an amateur child psychologists job. It would really help him get work when he finished his degree. It was rather exclusive so you had to put in one hell of an application. He had been working on that before his term paper had to be his priority. He would be really busy this week- even more so than normal with the studying time and all. Craig was the type to cram so it was fresh in his mind.

I didn't want to bother him with something as trivial as celebrating my birthday. But I knew he would make a big deal out of it. I do the same for his birthday. But I was less busy than he was. _I_ had time to do something. He didn't. And I didn't need him to get even more stressed because of me.

"Well I care- nothing in mind?"

"Maybe we can go out to eat or something on Sunday." I offered the bare minimal, hoping he'd take it.

"It's better to celebrate on your actual birthday." He walked over to me and leaned on the counter. Oh my god- better on your birthday! Where did he even hear that shit?

"It's fine!" I insisted, starting to feel a little light headed. The stuff was kicking in, "It's just my birthday. You got more important things to do."

"The fuck I do." He slurred a little. It was getting to him too, "You come first." I bit my lip and felt heat creep to my face. God damn it. I hated that he could still make me all flustered. He came over to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Craig- you're going to extremely busy next week. It's fine."

"No- we haven't even been able to eat together this whole week except for tonight. I feel like I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry." I rolled my eyes and kissed under his jaw.

"Oh please- we've had enough time to have sex this whole week." I chuckled, feeling his warmth. Sure they've been quickies, but it was still nice.

"And trust me babe- I love that. But lazing around like this- we haven't been able to for a while now. And next week I'm going to practically be living at school, so I doubt I'll even be home until you're asleep. And I really hate doing that."

"It's _ok _Craig. You've been working hard. Your major is a long one to master. On top of that your job runs late and can get demanding- really it's ok." I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I should be able to get more time when the term is over. After next week I promise- we'll spend more time together." Craig really did try hard. I both loved and hated that about him. Sometimes he needed to just relax.

"We're a bunch of part time students living on our own. I think it's ok that we're busy." I gave him a peck and pulled his hand so we can get to the couch. There was a good chance we be floored in a few minutes.

"No. If I can't make time for you now then I'm not worthy of marrying you." My heart skipped a beat at the word 'marrying'. I kind of figured things would end up like that- but whenever he talked about it I got all nervous. He plopped on the couch and brought me on his lap.

"M-marry me?" My stutter came back. He made a face and brought my hand up to his lips, kissing my ring.

"I promised we would eventually." Ok. He's definitely high now. I laughed and leaned back.

"You're crazy."

"Crazy for you."

Definitely high as fuck

"Ok. Let's put some music on." It was his favorite stoned pastime.

"Oh! That's the best idea in ever!" I laughed. Where did his tolerance go? I got up and nearly face planted to the ground. Whoa. Where did _my _tolerance go?

"Oh! That was fun." I giggled then went to the stereo. I put on his favorite music then went back to his lap. Craig smiled and bobbed his head.

"I love this song." I giggled a little too long and nodded.

"I know babe. I know."

**[[Ok- first one done. Sorry for the first chapter smut but I wanted to show you what a typical day in their lives is like. Kinda. Ok. **

**_IMPORTANT NOTE! _I know that fanfiction has been deleting a lot of mature stories lately. Mine have been fine but you never know. I know how some of you have found me on tumblr and now I have a question. Would it be a good idea to also post this on tumblr or something? Like- have my stories available on tumblr just in case? I poured my heart and soul into these stories. and though I still have them in my computer, part of such joy is to get them out for you guys. So you can enjoy and read them too. It breaks my heart to think I'd get any of my stories deleted.**

**But I'm also not concieded as to think that I have a large fan bse as to post something when no one would give a shit. **

**Please let me know.**

**Thak you.]]**


	2. My Apocalypse

**[[Shout out to all my reviewers! blackdawn0, SparklesMakeMeHappy, xSucksToYourAss-marx, Poppy Flower 333, Britnotmobile, naruxkibalovr, AzyumiChan. You're all lovely :] I'm ging to try to update once a week. More if I can.**

**All my stuff is officially on tumblr: /blog/lucy-sinclair**

**Enjoy the chapter!]]**

I unlocked my apartment door as quietly as I could then opened it even quieter. I closed it behind me and flicked the light on- listening. Sure enough I could hear Tweek's soft breathing from inside our room. I sighed and dropped my things on the side of the door.

Today was brutal. Term paper was due today with my fucking statistics exam. I can understand why that class would kind of be important for my degree- but fucking really? I had to study extra hard for my last and most important class- child behavioral patterns. The professor was strict and by the book so I basically had to reread the entire course book. I barely made it to my double shift at the bar. I took it so I could have Friday night of to spend at least half of Tweek's birthday with him. It was already three in the morning and my exam was in five hours.

Fuck this week.

As predicted, I hardly was able to see Tweek at all. I managed to catch him when he was running out the door to the coffee shop, but that was for about a minute. If that. I went to the kitchen and saw a plate covered in foil. I unwrapped it and saw Tweek left me some food. A smile crept to my lips- if only I wasn't too tired to eat it. All I wanted was to get in bed next to him and sleep. I yawned as I made my way to our room, kicking off my shoes and taking my sweater and shirt off. I watched Tweek's sleeping form. Those pills worked magic on his insomnia. I crawled in next to him. He stirred violently, turning around and scooting closer to me.

"Hi Craig." He murmured, still asleep. I chuckled and kissed his forehead.

"Hey Tweek, happy birthday." I whispered brushing his hair from his face. He frowned.

"It's- my birthday? Shit." I held in a laugh. Those pills made him so loopy. It was adorable. I kissed the top of his head and hushed him, coaxing him back to sleep. He finally stilled. I got comfortable myself. I bit my lip and got lost in my thoughts as I dozed.

Living with Tweek has been great. I remember when I was still a teenager- how I pictured getting to this point. It was more or less what I wanted. And I was so lucky to get it. Almost five years we've been together. Loved each other. Five years. All things considered- it had been good. Sure there was the touch barrier. Tyler. The fight with my dad. Picking out which school to go to. Tweek's parents almost making him stay home. Getting an apartment. And a whole lot more.

But we took in in stride. Hand in hand we faced it all. Five years and going strong. In fact- I was kind of thinking that since we obviously are still in love. And we live together- why not take it a step further?

Though that was a whole other thing and could wait until the morning to think about. So I held Tweek close to me and inhaled his scent. I finally dozed to sleep.

* * *

An annoying buzzing filled my ears and I cracked an eye open. Immediately I noticed the absent warmth of the other body I had grown accustomed to having with me. I groaned and leaned to the side table to shut the alarm clock off. Next to it I saw a note. Tweek had gotten into the habit of leaving notes like his mother used to.

_Craig. My mom and dad needed me at the shop back in South Park- family meeting apparently. I'll meet you at the restaurant ok? I love you._

I smiled at the hand written note but sighed. I had at least hoped to see him awake briefly before I left for my exam. But there was no time to pout about it. I got up and got ready as fast as I could.

* * *

"Well that killed the rest of my brain." My classmate Gwen yawned as we walked out of the test room together.

"That bastard had shit on there from the first day of his class." I swear if Tweek didn't get me into the habit of keeping all my things in plastic sleeve folders, I never would've gotten that question.

"I knew I'd seen that question somewhere! Shoot. How do you think you did?" Gwen wasn't exactly my friend, but she was one of the few people I tolerated here. At first she started talking to me because she was interested in me, like most of the girls that talk to me, but after I told her I had a boyfriend, she actually shrugged it off and kept talking to me. It was refreshing. Usually the girls would tell me stupid things like;

"_But you're attractive- you could get a girl if you wanted."_

"_But I'd date you!"_

"_Why?"_

It was annoying.

"Studied all last night- knew all the questions. I think it's safe to say I pulled off at least an A. I just hope the essay question was up to par. If not- a B plus." I answered truthfully. I was a good student. Always made sure I was after I decided on my major.

"You're so confident. I wish I was!" Gwen always talked like that- about being confident. I think it had something to do with the fact that she was really tiny Like, you might be afraid to break her tiny. Think she was self conscious about it and therefore had insecurity issues.

"Not really. I just studied a lot."

"Well whatever Mr. Tucker." She spat her tongue out and giggled, "Last exam though! We should celebrate! Let's go get a drink." She smiled shyly. I shook my head.

"Can't. Today is Tweek's birthday. Going to meet him at Coco's."

"Oh. Right." Gwen smiled and slapped her head, "The famous Tweek. You're soul mate." She joked. She knew that I'd been with him in and right out of high school.

"Some people find the one early on." I felt a little stupid saying something that gushy. But it was true and Gwen was the closest thing I had to a friend in a girl- so I figure it was ok to say. She smiled and giggled.

"That's so sweet." I sighed and rolled my eyes, "It is! Tweek is lucky to have you." She mused. I was about to retort but my phone started ringing. I answered it, recognizing he number.

"Hello?"

"Hi is this Mr. Tucker?"

"Yes."

"Hi Mr. Tucker, how are you. It's Simon."

"Hi Simon. I'm fine." I grumbled. Why was it that everyone asked things they didn't really care to know? It even sounds robotic.

"Good. I'm calling about the ring, the diamond you brought in was a little bigger that what was going to fit in the slot. Now we would have to either use a different band or make adjustments to the current one."

"Can you do that?" I asked, sighing again, this was not my day. I figured that meant it wouldn't be ready today then. So I didn't even bother asking and just hoped they could at least keep the band I wanted.

"Yes, it shouldn't be that difficult. I think we can fit it in quite attractively. Of course, that would mean it wouldn't be ready for a couple of more weeks. I'm very sorry, I know we said the latest would be today, but the diamond you brought in was a tad bit bigger than we thought."

"No- no. It's alright. I figured it might turn out this way. Thank you for calling."

"We're very sorry. But the rest of the ring is finished, did you want to come in and make sure everything is up to par before we make the adjustments? We wouldn't want the way you wanted the ring to turn out differently." I checked my watch, I think I had enough time to make a quick stop. I needed to make sure the adjustments wouldn't ruin the ring. Besides, I wouldn't be able to get away to check it inconspicuously after today since I planned on spending some time with Tweek until classes started again.

"Sorry Gwen, but I got to go." I waved and took off toward the student parking lot.

"Craig wait!" I paused and turned around.

"What?"

"Uh- I hate asking this but- could you by any chance give me a ride to Coco's? I'm working there part time and well- it would save me the bus fare. That is- if it's not too much trouble."

"Actually, I'm kind of making a short stop on the way. Not going to get there until five."

"Oh but that's ok! My shift starts at five thirty!" I considered. Truth be told I wasn't sure if I wanted Gwen to come with me to see the ring. Then again it wasn't like she was going to tell anyone. I guess I could give her a ride.

"Ok. Sure. I'll end up there anyway, I guess."

"Cool!" She smiled and followed me to my car. I got in my old car that had served me well over the years and seen many excursions; in several meaning of the word actually. Though Tweek and I hadn't had car sex in a long time since we grew accustomed to our apartment.

"Sorry about the mess." I offered even though I wasn't really sorry. I had been alternating between the library and class and work in this car so often that it felt I lived more in here this week than in my own place. My books and to go cups of coffee from seven eleven littered the floor. Tweek didn't approve of convenience coffee. I had to dispose of them when I got the chance.

"Don't worry about it. It's actually cleaner than my dorm. It's only really books and papers." I started up the ignition and my CD began blasting in the front. I backed out of the parking space and made my way through the maze of cars.

"That's quite a song selection." I noticed what was actually playing and shrugged, "I didn't peg you for a techno fan."

"I listen to everything."

"Cool. So where're we going?" Gwen was sure chatty. But I suppose I forgot that considering I only saw her in class.

"Got to check something."

"But what?"

"Just something." Why did all girls insist on talking in the car? Cars come with a radio for a reason. She got the hint when my grunts answered all her questions. Unfortunately it started up again when I pulled up in front of a jewelry store.

"Well Craig Tucker- what are we getting here?" I didn't answer and just get out of the car. I hoped she was going to stay in the car but of course she trailed after me. I entered the store, holding the door open for her.

"Ah- Craig!" Simon greeted looking his flamboyant self. I didn't understand why all jewelry workers decked themselves out in gold chains and diamonds- showing off the merch? Though he did have the whole silver fox angle going for him- he'd drive all the house wives crazy, " That was quick. Why don't I go get the ring?"

"Thanks."

"Ring? What ring Craig?" Gwen immediately grinned. Dear god, "Does it have anything to do with the doting boyfriend whose birthday is today?" I wasn't going to ask such stupid questions. Not ones that were blatantly obvious.

"Here's the ring sir." Simon came back out just in time, thank god. He showed me the white gold banded ring that was engraved with the same designs as the band on Tweek's promise ring. The top of the ring also had the design etched in the same lock that centered the promise ring. The keyhole was cut to fit in the diamond. Though now it was nothing more than a tiny circle.

"It looks great." And it really did. I only used a photo of Tweek's ring and they patterned it perfectly to the white gold. Tweek loved his promise ring so much I thought I'd replicate it on something a little more- elegant. You can't have a brass wedding ring after all. I'd kill myself before letting Tweek settle for that. Even if the 14k white gold band set me back a little.

"Alright so as you can see the cut for the original diamond was meant to go in the top slot- but the new diamond is slightly bigger so me might have to enlarge the keyhole to accommodate it without losing the picture."

"That's ok." As long as the picture came out clear then it will be ok.

"Diamond? What do you need a diamond for Craig?" Gwen began pestering me again. I knew she was smart enough to figure it out- but she wanted me to say it, "I mean a diamond on a ring? That would only be needed if-" She trailed, her green eyes widening with a grin on her face. I sighed. Did I really consider her a friend? If it would get her to shut up.

"I'm proposing to Tweek. There- big reveal." I rolled my eyes.

It was true. I was planning on marrying Tweek Tweak.

We had been together for nearly five years and I figured- it was time. I had been in love with Tweek for so long and found myself thinking lately how I didn't see that changing at all. It hadn't yet and I was positive it wouldn't ever. There was too much history with him- too many obstacles we had overcome together. Challenges we faced. All conquered because he was right there by my side. I wasn't letting him go. Never. I had waited long enough and decided it was about time to make the already life long commitment I made to him official by marrying him- if he would have me of course.

Tweek had been my lover for almost five years and my best friend for much longer than that. I made a promise I would eventually marry him years ago- and I was going to finally make good on it by proposing. Sure it wasn't an exact condition of the promise ring, but I think we both knew it was going to end up that way when we exchanged presents on our one year. I could still feel the slight weight of the key he gave me around my neck and knew it was definitely a mutual thing.

"Oh my god Craig! That's so cute! When are you proposing!" She asked eagerly. Dear god.

"I was planning on doing that tonight but I guess since the ring isn't ready- it's not happening."

"Why the whole mix up with the diamonds?" She asked looking at the band with a sparkle in her eyes. I didn't get what it was with girls and weddings. Whatever.

"I was planning on getting him one myself. Nothing too big, but as big as I could afford without getting too much in debt. But my mother made me return it after I told her about it and gave me the diamond from my great grandma's ring." At first I didn't want it, but truth be told it was more sentimental and larger than the one I was going to purchase. Better cut and quality too despite the age.

"That's so sweet." Gwen said dreamily.

"We're terribly sorry for the inconvenience Mr. Tucker-"

"Don't be. I did get the diamond in last minute. How much is it going to cost to make the new adjustments?" Simon smiled in his best customer service smile and shook his head.

"No worries Mr. Tucker. We'll fix it, free of charge." Well there was some good news there.

"That's great, thanks." I checked my phone. Shit. This took longer than I thought. I had to meet Tweek in five minutes! Fuck, " Well thank you Simon. The ring looks great. I have to go now."

"Alright. We'll let you know when it's ready for pick up."

"Thanks." I went toward the door, "Gwen." I called out to the short girl who was too busy gawking at the ring I was getting for Tweek to listen. She snapped her head and scrambled out the door with me.

"Sorry- that was a gorgeous ring Craig! Where'd you get the idea for the designs?" She asked as I rushed the ignition on.

"It's the same design as his promise ring."

"That's cool. But why engrave it on the new ring?"

"You know, old promise but still in effect with the new ring of commitment- that cheesy shit." I pushed the car in gear and took off. I really couldn't be bothered with Gwen's inquisitiveness. She giggled and leaned back in her seat.

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! I was going to be late! I didn't like making Tweek wait. It was his god damned birthday and the least I could do was be there on time. All I could think of was the red lights and how I managed to get every single one, even with Gwen chatting away about something I didn't care to listen to. I looked ahead and saw the Coco's parking lot completely full. I'd have to park across the street.

"God damn it I'm so fucking late." I grumbled sticking my car between two others and getting out as quickly as I could.

"Calm down Craig- it's barely five now." Gwen called out as I locked my door and sped walked down the side walked. If I hurried now I would make it. I couldn't stand making Tweek wait. I noticed the white walking man still on and figured I could make that if I hurried.

"Craig! Craig slow down!" Sorry Gwen, I drove you here and that was the deal. I didn't need to walk in with you. I jogged across the midway. I was definitely going to make it on time,

"_**Craig! Craig look out!"**_

I turned my head towards the screaming and saw a car screeching toward me.

And it wasn't stopping.

**[T]**

I shuddered violently and my heart started to beat rapidly.

Jesus Christ- what was that? I was sitting in the waiting section at Coco's and suddenly it felt like my stomach just sank.

What was that?

Why did it feel like something was wrong.

"Oh my god! That kid just got hit by that truck!" An elderly man yelled. The entire restaurant suddenly filled with noise.

"Someone call an ambulance!"

"Is he alright?"

"Don't look kids."

I got up slowly. I don't know why- but needed to see. A shudder of paranoia coursed through me. Snap out of it Tweek- it's not- no. That's ridiculous. The crowd covered all the windows and on the street. I walked to the edge of the crowd, feeling colder with every step. I pushed through the crowd and to the ground that had blood tailing down it. All pooling around a limp figure on the pavement. My insides turned to ice water and everything around me turned silent and still.

"Craig."


	3. Sleeping Awake

**[Oh my. Sorry this is late. I got sick for a few days and my internet started acting up. I hope this wasn't too long! Thank you for the reviews. Lots of love to you all- Enjoy the chapter.]**

How did I get here? Where was I? I knew I was waiting for some results. I know I was waiting in intensive care. I know I was sitting in front of some doors. But- my mind was so scrambled I couldn't quite grip on what had happened prior to get to this point, What was going on? I don't know.

"Tweek!" That voice. Ruby. That's right. They were coming- they were called, but why again? She looked so upset, "Where is he! What's going on! Why did it happen!"

Why?

Why what?

"Where's the guy who hit him! Why did you let him do it Tweek! Why! Why weren't you there! Why didn't you stop it! He can't die! He isn't allowed to die!" I watched her lips move fast and urgently. Her voice made noises that sounded like words- but what were they? Everything was surreal. Like a dream. This was all a dream right? It had to be. This wasn't really happening. That's why I everything was fuzzy, right? Right-

A sharp pain and sound echoed throughout the walls. Ouch. She slapped me. Ruby slapped me. Tears were streaming down her blue green eyes. She held my shirt firmly in one hand and had her hand up. Her teeth were sunk into her lip as though she was biting back something. I blinked and stared at her state. Her eyes were red and her hair was everywhere. She hit me again. Ouch!

"Talk to me! Say something! What's happening to Craig!"

Craig- that's right. Why I'm here- because of- of-

"Tweek! Tw-" She stopped and stared. I felt a hot tear trail down my face. Craig. Craig was- he got-

"C-Craig." A pathetic noise bubbled from my throat, "C-Craig!" More tears came. I wasn't sniffling or trembling or anything. It was all tears. It all hit me at one.

The hospital.

The ambulance.

The Street

Craig- on the floor next to a small puddle of blood where his head was. Just lying there.

Just fucking lying there!

Motionless.

So fucking still.

Oh god!

This was real.

It was happening!

Oh my god!

Oh my fucking God!

"Craig!" I cried. Ruby completely lost her fire and remained still.

"Tweek! What's happening to Craig!" Mrs. Tucker asked frantically. Her voice was old and scared and- terrified. But all I heard was Craig's name.

"Craig!" I cried again. Oh god- Craig was rushed in! I couldn't even see him! He was surrounded by paramedics. They were talking so fast. Their voices so frenzied and hectic. They took him and left me. I couldn't even go with him. I remember rushing to him, getting held back. Screaming as they took him further and further away from me.

Oh god.

Why couldn't this be a nightmare?

A terrible ugly nightmare?

Why can't I just wake up?

I'll give anything if I can just wake up and Craig would be fine!

Please!

Please!

I felt myself crying harder. Ruby moved her hand from my collar to around my neck, pulling me atop her chest and resting her head on mine. Crying with me. Everyone was quiet. The only sound in the place was my pathetic wails and Ruby's shaky crying breath.

Craig.

* * *

I was sitting in the waiting room with Ruby and the Tucker parents. My hand was firmly locked in Ruby's hand. We both squeezed and in doing so- told each other how we felt by out hands. They never let go. I think Ruby Tucker had more emotion than her bother. Harbored such strong feeling, that she didn't know what to do. Especially because she keeps it all inside.

I couldn't understand how she was so strong. Just sitting there with that stony look on her face. Because I was a wreak. I'd only stopped crying because my tear ducts were exhausted. I looked gross too, I was sure. Tear stained cheeks, dark tired eyes, and a runny nose. It was gross. But they wouldn't stop. All I kept seeing was Craig laying there and it just started all over again. Even now the tears were poking at my eyes.

"Family of Mr. Tucker?" The same doctor that had been continuously sticking his head in to ask us who was who and moving us around the hospital finally came in again after another half hour. We all looked desperately at him. They had given us no information on Craig's condition so we were ravenous for any kind of word. He looked at the two Tuckers holding each other. He looked at us and back at them, "Can I- uh- talk to you two alone?" Why the fuck did he need to do that! What did that mean! I was his boyfriend! I had the right to know too!

"No- tell us all." Mr. Ticker grunted weakly.

"I really think that it's best for me to speak to you two first-"

"Dad!" Ruby cried angrily. I didn't think she liked the doctor's idea at all.

"Please." Mrs. Tucker put in.

"Alright," The doctor scratched his neck and looked at us all.

"We've stabilized him." None of us felt any better, "The collision with the vehicle fractured his left arm and leg , broke two ribs, and put a little stain on his neck." Oh Jesus Christ.

"So it isn't that bad." Ruby said quickly- but more as a desperate question. Mrs. Tucker put her hand up to silence her. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to stop or keep going.

"Go on." She urged.

"Well- the collision with the truck wasn't the big problem. Getting flung to the ground so hard was the problem. The collision rattled his brain and skull. I'm afraid when he hit the asphalt that the real damage was made. He hit the ground at such a force that it fractured his skull. He's got quite the concussion. The brain was damaged - enough to start bleeding. And I believe he stopped breathing for a short time before the ambulance arrived. But the report says they administered oxygen quickly- so there's a good chance that the lack there of didn't damage anything permanently. And we detected the bleeding early on and stopped it. That's good. The best we could hope for considering the circumstances. But he hasn't regained consciousness. There's no telling what the damage really is from the concussion with him in this state. There is a possibility the damage could've impacted him quite harshly. But we can not tell now. We've patched him up. It'll take a little time for his body to heal-"

"And his brain? When is he going to wake up?" Mrs. Tucker held her breath. The doctor looked down. I held my own as well.

"We can't be sure."

A silence washed all of us at the weight of his words. What did that mean? Why wasn't he waking up! How can they not know when! Didn't they get how my heart was going to burst with all this uncertainty?

"Can we see him?" Ruby asked with her grip loosening on my hand. We all looked at the doctor once again. He had to let us see him. To know he was alive- I didn't care what the doctor said- I needed to see him!

"Yes. He's being moved to another room. I'll get someone to take you there." With that the doctor left the room leaving us all in that terrible silence. I didn't think it was possible to be so scared and sad and angry, that it scarcely feels as though I'm feeling anything at all. I could feel my heart hammering on. The tears in my eyes forming. But it was all still surreal- even with Ruby's slap still stinging my face. There was too much to feel to know exactly how to take this correctly.

I was thrilled to be able to see him, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. He hasn't regained consciousness- his brain could've been severely damaged? Did this mean that there was a chance Craig wouldn't wake up? I looked around, seeing how it wasn't just me who was thinking those questions. We all looked like we were trying to collect ourselves after the news of Craig's condition. This clearly was going to impact us all.

A nurse showed up and told us to follow her. Ruby kept my hand as she followed her parents, pulling me with her. Which was probably a good thing- my legs refused to work on their own.

Down the cold and lonely halls of the hospital, where- even though there were patience and doctors walking every so often- it felt empty and frightening. We finally made it to room 203. She opened the door slowly and walked inside- motioning us to follow.

"Tweek?" Ruby looked towards me when my feet refused to move. Craig was in there, I should be running to get in. But- no. I couldn't do this. I couldn't see Craig like that. Like- however he looked, "Uh- you don't have to." I think she understood the thoughts pulsing in my head. Maybe it was best I shouldn't go- no wait- I had to see him. But would I be able to handle it? What if I faint or scream? That would only upset everything more. No- Craig needs me. I have to.

"I'm ok." I forced my legs forward.

It was a typical hospital room. White and cold and unsettling. There was an unoccupied bed and right next to it- Craig. It took all of me not to run to his side and try and wake him up. Oddly enough- minus the tubes in his arm, bandages around his head, and tubes in his nose- he looked ok. Scratched up definitely- his face had some nasty cuts from I'm guessing where he landed- but other than that- he didn't look that hurt. But he didn't look like he was sleeping either.

Or I guess it did. But Craig doesn't sleep like that. Not with a calm face. Craig always sleeps with his eyes somewhat screwed and a small frown. Having him look blissful like that- I knew it was wrong. That peaceful face didn't soothe me, it just amplified the fact that even though Craig was in the room, he wasn't exactly there. And pressed the question down harder; _when was he going to wake up?_

"I'll leave you four alone in here for a little while." The nurse slipped out. Mrs. Tucker went to Craig's side and placed her hand on his forehead gently.

"My Craig." She whispered sadly. Ruby went to her mother's side and let her mother cling on to her. Mr. Tucker and I stood back. His face was stony and placid. I finally was done staring and walked toward Craig's other side. For the first time Craig looked fragile to me. Just lying there. Broken. I wanted to touch him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was like if I did- it hurt him. And I couldn't do that. I feathered my fingers over his messy hair that stuck out through the bandages. Not really touching him, but kind of ghosting over his hair. Id never been on the giving end of this. He always- he-

"I'm so sorry." I whispered so low that I hoped no one could hear me. I felt my eyes sting with the threat of tears returning. I walked backward toward the door.

This-it was my fault wasn't it? I did this. It was my fault. I picked the place. If I had picked anywhere else- he'd be ok. If it wasn't for my birthday- he never would've gotten hit. This was all my fault! I hit the door and went out.

"Tweek!" I heard Ruby and Mrs. Tucker call after me. I made it outside and closed the door. I ran a few paces down the hall and stopped, I couldn't go anymore. There was no energy left in me. I placed my head on the wall and clutched it.

What had I done?

I did this!

This was all-

"It's not your fault." I flinched as a tear went down my cheek. That was Ruby's voice, "I'm sorry I said that before I- I was just scared." Ruby came up behind me. Did she say that? I couldn't remember.

"It is my fault. _I_ chose the place and time- it was _my _birthday. He was rushing to see _me_. If he hadn't-"

"It wasn't your fault!" Ruby put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed firmly, "It was that jackass who hit him. He didn't stop. It's his fault. Not yours!"

"His breaks failed Ruby."

" So? If you aren't going to blame him- then don't blame yourself Tweek. It's more his fault than anyone's! Besides- it- it was just a terrible accident! So you can't blame yourself. You know, Craig wouldn't ever blame you. He'd get pissed at you for even thinking that!" I felt a small smile turn at the corner of my lips. I could almost picture his frown and brows raising up slightly in disbelief.

"He would get pissed." Then he'd grab me and kiss me until I felt better. He can't do that now. The frown returned. I wiped another tear with my hands and turned to face his sister, "But it's better to think it's my fault- than to believe that anything that horrible would happen to him just because. I- I don't want to believe that something this horrible is just another chapter in life. I- I can't." Why should Craig have to be hit for nothing! How was that fair! Why would this just happen just because!

Ruby frowned sadly and hugged me. I hugged her back, resting my head on hers even though she was pretty tall. I felt her tremble a little.

"I- I know. I don't want to believe it either."

* * *

"Hey Craig, I'm back. How're you feeling?" I walked back into the hospital room with a bag of various things I got from the seven eleven across the street. Hospital food was passable at best. Besides- this was the same place that housed a bunch of diseases- I seriously doubted the food was that sanitary, "Sorry I was gone a little longer than I said I'd be- but you'd be surprised at how many nurses get their food from there instead of here. Ha- yeah- 'real surprised'," I pulled up the chair by his side and sat down, placing the food and snacks by the little table on the side of his bed. I took of one of the coffees and took a sip. I sighed then leaned back in my chair, watching Craig's still sleeping face.

"That weird clerk with the star tattoos around his eyes was there again. Asked me if I was interested in getting inked. What the hell right? He told me I'd look good with one right on my neck. I just paid for my coffee drinks and stuff and got the hell out of there." I noticed I finished my can of coffee already, "Oh would you look at that- one can down already. I got three more." How long had I been up this time? We were hitting the two week mark- weren't we? I'd been up so long I couldn't remember. I opened my second can and yawned. My eyes felt like sand paper and that strange surreal feeling filled my head like it usually did before I started taking my sleeping pills. I guess you never truly stop being an insomniac. Didn't get a wink of sleep after I stopped taking them. But I was trying to stay up to be with Craig as much as I could. My eyes drooped a little more so I let them close for second or two.

"Tweek?" Mrs. Tucker's voice woke me up in the next second- no wait- the sun was going down. When did I go to sleep! I checked my phone and sure enough I'd been out for a good three hours. I was so sure I just closed my eyes for a minute!

"Ah! Uh- Hey Mrs. Tucker." I smiled then yawned. Man, was I exhausted. She looked down at me, her eyes not so fresh looking either. But then I guess that's to be expected when she's coming back and forth from South Park to here. She was staying at a hotel in the center between the hospital and South Park. I offered her our apartment but she said she still had to check up on things at home since everyone else was still at home, so kindly declined.

"Tweek, go home okay? Get some rest. You've been here for almost two weeks straight." Had it been that long?

"B-but I can't! What if he wakes up while I'm gone? It's been two weeks after all. The doctor said that most cases have normal patients waking up for around a two to three weeks. And they said Craig was getting better. He can breathe on his own and everything now. And- and I swear earlier today I saw him move just a bit- that's a good sign! He can wake up any time now- I'm sure he will. And when he does I can't be not here- I need him to know I've stood by him through all of this. And-"

"Tweek!" I stopped and looked at her tired face. I never noticed before- but Craig's mother looked pretty old. "Uh- look sweetie. I- uh- I just think you could do with a shower and a little nap that's not in a hospital chair ok? Just a few hours. Ok? Go home, clean up, rest a little, and then come back. I'll watch him and let you know the absolute moment he wakes up. Alright?" I guess I was due to check up on the apartment eventually. I don't think I was there for more than a few minutes after Craig was moved into this room to get clothes, my charger, and laptop. I guess the mail had to be sorted and whatnot.

"….Sure Mrs. Tucker- alright." I didn't want to leave. But maybe she was right. I grabbed my messenger bag and my other bag full of clothes that needed washing then got up, "I'll be back, Craig. Mrs. Tucker." I smiled then left the room.

Jesus Christ.

I leaned on the door and sighed.

Jesus fucking Christ.

I pressed my hands to my eyes, keeping tears back.

Who the fuck was I kidding?

This positive get go attitude wasn't how I felt at all. This was the two longest weeks of my life. Sitting there and watching him, hoping and begging whoever was listening for him to wake up. The longer he slept, the more doubtful I was that he'd ever wake up.

No- Craig was going to wake up.

He was.

He had to. Craig is strong. Craig can get through anything because he's Craig. I knew he was going to recover. Because if he didn't-

If he didn't-

No.

He was. And that was that. I started walking down the halls, getting greeted by all the nurses that had come to know me while I was there. I had been skipping work to be here. I wonder if that was ok? I needed to work. We still needed income. How embarrassing would it be for Craig to wake up and we were evicted?

**[Mrs. Tucker]**

Tweek finally went home. I sat down on the chair and took out one of the coffees still in the kid's bag. I'd pay him back. I took a drink and winced at the taste. Tweek had weird tastes in coffee. I looked at my son and touched his hand. My boy- my poor boy. How much longer was he going to sleep?

"Mrs. Tucker?" The doctor came right on time. I was actually surprised Tweek was as willing as he was to go. It was a feat to get him to eat the first week Craig was in the coma. He absolutely refused to leave Craig's side and let go of his hand.

Tweek was a sweet kid. He was the only reason I was able to separate my time from Thomas and Ruby to Craig. If Tweek didn't stay with Craig constantly I'd be the one here. Craig knew how to pick them. Thankfully that was one of the few particular traits he got from his father.

"Doctor." I nodded in his direction. He said he needed to discuss something with me and if it was alright to let that conversation be done alone.

"How are you?"

"My son is in coma." How did he think I was?

"Right. Mrs. Tucker- as I'm sure you know. It's been nearly two weeks since your son has been comatose."

"Uh huh."

"And- well we're nearing the end of the safety zone. My meaning is- if Craig doesn't wake up in another week- we can only assume that there may be more damage than we originally thought." I looked at Craig, my motherly instincts seizing me up with that worry I get for both of them. I took a deep breath.

"And like you said- two to three weeks. Craig has another week."

"Yes ma'am, but I'm just trying to prepare for what might come. The longer he stays asleep- the smaller chance he has to ever waking up. His vital signs appear to be normal, but it is possible that his brain was effected in other ways that would-"

"Doctor- I know how this is something to discuss- and I'm realistic. But with all due respect- my son is a fighter. He's going to wake up. I'd appreciate it if we kept the talks until it actually is something to consider."

"I understand ma'am- I understand how hard this must be for you, but-"

He understood? This doctor wasn't one for sugarcoating anything and I respected that- but this was getting a bit ridiculous. I stood up and looked up at him, making sure to look him right in the eye.

"You have children Doctor Stratman?"

"Yes actually, two and-"

"And have any of them been in a car crash? Been in a coma?"

"Well- no."

"Then you can't possibly understand." I inhaled slowly, as a mother you learn to keep your tears in. I didn't know when Tweek was coming back and I didn't want to send that kid back in hysterics. And I didn't need this guy trying to comfort me.

"Right- I'll- I'll leave you alone." He shuffled out. I sighed and sat back down. I looked at Craig again, breathing slowly away. He never slept like that, not even as a baby.

I did believe Craig was a fighter.

And I did believe that he'd wake up.

But I am a realist. And though I tried not to let it get to me- I wondered myself when he'd wake up.

If he'd wake up.


	4. On My Own

**[[Oh my gosh i am so sorry this is like a week late! I have really no excuse but this week was pretty busy and hot as fuck and- I'm so sorry. Here's the chapter. Thank you for all who reviewed the last one. You inspire me to write faster. And it makes my day. Im going to keep pushing for weekly updates. Thank you for all your support and love. Enjoy the chapter :)]]**

I was in no shape to do anything today- yet I started work again anyway. I wished I hadn't. I couldn't focus at all. Terrible, terrible timing man. Somehow I managed to do my last order right and handed the customer his drink.

Finally- that was all of them from the big coffee rush of the morning. At last I could breathe. Only- I still couldn't. Not really.

Not even the strong and homey scent of the coffee house could me down. I still felt on edge. And I was pretty positive the stress wasn't due to the large line. That just made things worse for me though. Regardless of what life threw at me, the coffee house business was my forte. I had worked in the business so long I could do these things without even thinking about them.

At home, whenever I was upset- when everything seemed wrong- I would go work. That's where everything was right and I could do no wrong. The sound of the machines, the aroma, and the constant drink orders were soothing. There was a simplicity to everyone's complicated orders and I loved it. I knew every kind of coffee and every term. I would get a customer what they wanted even when they themselves didn't know. It was the one place where I not only could do no wrong, but where I was in my element.

But Today even the simplest of tasks wore me out and were too complicated to do. I messed up two drink orders, gave three different people the incorrect change, and dropped one of our mugs, professionally shattering it into a million deadly spikes on the floor. Well wasn't that a lawsuit waiting to happen? I swear if I wasn't already semi in charge of this place I'd be fired. I sighed and leaned on the counter.

A month.

It's been a month, today, since Craig's been in his coma. Even though it feels so much longer. And although things were always feeling permanent and critical in the back of my mind, despite the majority of the optimism; Things really were serious now. At least that's what I gathered from the solemn news of a mandatory meeting to discuss Craig's condition and what needed to be done about it.

The doctor told us all earlier today that since Craig exceeded the time it took for normal cases to recover from minor injuries, we'd have to all have a discussion of what that meant and what the next step was. But what could be the next step for someone in a coma? There was no cure that I knew of for someone in a comatose state. All you could do was wait. On top of that, if his injuries were not minor- that could only mean he wasn't going to get better soon. How can you take a step from that? So this next step- what kind of step was it really? I wasn't sure if I could handle the answer to that question.

"Uh- Mr. Tweak?" One of my employees, Rachel, tapped my shoulder.

"Huh? What?" I asked snapping my head in her direction.

"I- uh- know it's not any of my business, sweetie- uh- sir, but- is it- maybe- a good idea for you to be here?" That should've been insulting, but it was Rachel who said it. And that automatically meant it was not said with any ill intent. Rachel was a lovely middle aged woman, clearly an ex beauty queen, with beautiful blonde hair and perfect skin that was aging gracefully. She was a single mother of two and very timid. She wasn't very smart, but she worked hard and knew her way around a good cup of coffee. And her motherly instincts were through the roof. The main reason she was hired when my dad and mom started up the chain down here was because of that maternal instinct. Dad said it made customers crave that home coffee taste. And I had to agree.

"W-what?" I tried to smile. A concerned Rachel face for you made you want to melt in her arms and let her take care of you- not what I needed right now, "I'm perfectly fine. The morning rush is just a bit- you know." Her warm eyes looked through my lie and cut me deep.

"I'm sure we'd all understand if you weren't ready to come back to work just yet. I - I mean not to butt in where it's not my business but- you just look tired. I'm a little worried about you." Her eyes looked into mine, all big and with complete sincerity. I had the sudden urge to see my own mother, even though my mom wasn't the typical motherly figure in all the sitcoms. But it would've been nice to have her here, or even my dad. I had not seen them since the morning of my birthday when they called me over to talk about business but really had a mini family breakfast planned. They knew about the car accident with Craig, of course I had told them, but they were too busy to come. Mom was looking after her sick sister in Arizona and my father had to watch the shop back in South Park. Bills had to paid. I completely understood, but I had relatively no support through this- save for a few phone calls from them. I really did understand their prior commitments, and they did make an effort to check up on me- but it wasn't the same as having them here. And the lack of support was getting to me. It was so hard trying to be strong when all I wanted to do was cry to someone. Mrs. Tucker was nice, but she was too much like Craig to make me feel better. Being around her reminded me of the conscious Craig. And I could hardly ask for comfort from her when it's her son in the coma. I should've been the rock for her.

The motherly figure in Rachel was only making it harder not to let go and cry on someone. Especially when I really needed it today- the day that would change everything.

"I'm alright Rachel- really." I insisted, "I- I'm going to take a smoke break." I hurried out toward the back and out the door. I sighed as the cool air hit me.

Jesus Christ.

My breathing broke in a short spasm.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't. Cry.

I felt my face tighten with the familiar game I played to get myself not to cry. I didn't want to cry today. Not today. I didn't want the reality of whatever was going to happen to sink in until I actually knew what it was.

"Mr. Tweek?" I gasped as Rachel poked her head out. Why was she doing this to me?

"R-Rachel! Is there a customer waiting?" I asked getting my poker face back on. She looked at me with worried eyes and walked over to me.

"No sir- I just-"

"It's ok for you to call me just Tweek. I- I've told you before."

"I know. Sorry- Tweek, I know it's not any of my business, but I really am worried about you. I know you say you're fine. But if you're not- it's ok to say something. I- I don't want to step my bounds, but if you need to talk- I'll listen." I sunk my teeth in my lip and felt my breathing tremble again. I had to stay strong.

Ok. I got my breathing back under control. I fished out a cigarette and lit it up with a shaky hand. I inhaled deeply and nearly coughed at the massive amount I took in.

Keep it together Tweek. You can't break down now.

But why not? It seemed like the right time. Craig had been in a coma for nearly a month and now it was looking like the months were going to be adding up. This had been the loneliest I've been in years. It felt like all my life I've had Craig there with me. We've gone through more of our life together than not. And on top of that he was the first and only guy I've ever been in love with. We've been together for nearly five years and living together for three. It's been so hard simply living life with him in comatose. Not having him there to talk to was killing me. Why wouldn't he just wake up.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek. Fuck. I wiped it away.

"It- it's really nothing I-" The second tear made my statement look like complete bullshit. Which it was- but now it just really looked like it, "I appreciate the offer- but I can't- I can't-" I pressed my palms to my eyes again and slid down the wall a little. I sniffed and tried to calm down. Rachel laced a hand on my shoulder. She was definitely a mother. Her soft and warm touch both comforted me and broke me down.

"You don't have to say anything." So I didn't. I just sat there trying to control my breathing while she did her best to comfort me.

There were so many questions that were going to have to be faced in the near future. The biggest one that haunted me was; What would I do if Craig never wakes up? What if he keeps sleeping?

And that was one of the things nagging me the most. I just felt so lost and useless without Craig.

Sure I had my job and friends, but my whole world did actually revolve around him. What was I to do if he was taken from me?

I couldn't move on with my life. I wouldn't. Maybe that was pathetic of me, but I don't care. I know for a fact that Craig is the one I was meant to be with. There can be no one else. Craig was the one I wanted to spend my life with. There can be nothing after him.

I needed him.

Jesus Christ.

I couldn't deal with this. I can't go talk about what we're going to do with him. I can't have that conversation of how we're going to get along without him. Surely that was what the conversation was going to come down t, wasn't it? That was- just no.

That was wrong.

Fucked up.

"I can't do this." I whispered, caving and letting some vulnerability come through. I let Rachel place her hand on my arm and rub soothingly. She remained quiet, as promised, and just let me concentrate on breathing and my grim thoughts. It wasn't some magical therapy, I still felt distraught, but I admit it was nice having someone there so I wasn't alone with these thoughts.

"Shit!" I suddenly felt a jolt in my pocket. I dropped my cigarette at the feeling and reached for my phone in my pocket. Rachel just stood there and watched me as I looked at the screen and saw it was Mrs. Tucker.

"I'm sorry I have to take this," She merely nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen. I slid the button to answer, "H-hello?"

"Tweek. Are you busy?" I twitched.

"N-not really. I'm at work but I'm taking a break. Why? Is everything ok?"

" As well as can be expected. Is there any way you could get down here? Thomas got off work earlier than he planned, and he and Ruby are coming down right now. I know we scheduled the whole doctor talk thing tonight after your job but- well- I don't really want us to dread this the whole day if we don't have to. Can you get over here so we can all settle this as soon as Thomas arrives?" I bit my lip and inhaled deeply. The truth; No, I did not want to fucking go down to the hospital and face something I was dreading much sooner than I had to- but I guess I saw her point. I don't think I was being too useful here anyway. Maybe after everything was settled I could focus on things here and have work to distract me.

"Alright. I can get off here now. I'll- I'll be there soon." I hung up and sighed.

Might as well get this over with. I stomped my cigarette out and went back through the door, "Rachel, I'm so sorry, do you mind watching the place? I have to get down to the hospital to go over some things about Craig." Rachel looked at me sympathetically and nodded.

"Of course. Take as much time as you need. I can hold the fort down until Janet or Kevin get here. It's no trouble at all."

"Thank you." I took my apron off and hung it up on one of the metal shelves we kept the supplies on.

"And uh- Tweek." I paused to turn around.

"Yes?"

"Everything will be alright." There was no way she could no that. And on top of that, it was practically certain that she was wrong. I smiled weakly and walked back to her. I held her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Thank you Rachel." It didn't help all that much- but she did make me feel a little better. At least enough to hold me up. Sometimes it was a good thing for someone to just let you be upset. It was liberating.

"It will. I'll be praying for you." I never knew Rachel was religious. In any case I could use all the help I could get. So I thanked her again and took off toward my car to get to the hospital.

* * *

"So with Craig still in the coma, we can only assume his head trauma is a bit more severe than we anticipated. We did another Ct scan, it seems his swelling and ruptured vessels have gone back to normal. But there is still that slight damage we can't pinpoint what exactly it effected. We are going to get a specialist in and see if she can't identify anything. In the meantime I believe Craig will stay comatose for a while longer. We can't know for sure but best of a worst case scenario- is that he will remain so for a few more months. What we can do now is make sure he's as comfortable as possible until we can get some answers. We'll move him to another room where we have some other comatose patients." We were all in the hallway right outside Craig's room. The doctor wanted to speak to the two Tucker parents alone again, but they insisted Ruby and I be included so instead of his office, we all spoke here. I think I rather be out here anyways. It just made me feel better knowing Craig was in the room while he spoke and they weren't doing something with him while they were distracting us. That may have been my old paranoia talking but hell- I'm still very sleep deprived. The crazy comes out more without sleep.

"So when will the specialist come?" Mrs. Tucker asked the doctor. The doctor plucked up a paper from his clip board and scanned it with his eyes.

"We expect her to come in in about another week."

"Why so long?" Ruby finally spoke up. She had not spoken since I had arrived. I could only assume her reasoning was the same as mine; too full to respond. I had not spoken much to her after she left when Craig first got hit. She did send me the occasional encouraging text. Well- encouraging in the way Tuckers can. But it still was encouragement nonetheless. But from the looks of her I'd say she was the one who needed it more.

"The doctor we contacted is currently looking at a case in Oklahoma. She is the best around in this area so she is called from the neighboring states to look at a few cases. She should be back in a few days."

"Shouldn't he be seen right away? If there's something really wrong with him then-"

"Ruby please-" Mr. Tucker hushed her. Ruby looked from her dad to the doctor. Then obeyed and shut her lips. The doctor looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm afraid whatever is wrong with Craig is long term, but it doesn't appear to be placing him in immediate danger. He'll be in the best possible hands here until she comes. Trust me we're doing the best we can to figure this out."

"Will- will we still be able to visit him?" I asked, my voice cracking in a way I didn't like. I had done my best to keep it together and was doing a good job. But this whole talk made things too real. Instead of answers we were just getting more questions.

"Once we have him set up of course."

"And when will that be?" Mrs. Tucker asked.

"We're getting the open bed ready for him right now actually. We'll move him as soon as we can. And he'll only be a floor higher." The doctor smiled weakly. Well that was fantastic. With everything going on I was worried how much farther I'd have to walk to see my boyfriend. I squeezed my hands together and remembered to inhale slowly.

"Anything else we need to know?" Mrs. Tucker sighed and leaned on her husband.

"Well there are some forms to go over to move him. When you sign the approval forms we can move him out."

"Alright. I guess we'll do that now." Mr. Tucker grunted out.

"There's quite a few things to go over. Maybe if you follow me we can get the appropriate forms signed as quickly as possible."

"Alright. We'll do that. Ruby- Tweek- why don't you two stay here with Craig for the time being while we get those papers signed. I was pretty sure we knew all we needed to know. The rest of the talk was probably going to be some financial lingo. I would try to get that information later. I wanted to help pay for the medical expenses but Craig's reluctance for help in the financial department derived from his family. They wouldn't let me or my parents help.

"Ok. Well stay here and wait for you to get back." I nodded and saw Ruby nod weakly as well.

"We'll be right ba-"

"Hello? Is anyone out there? Is there a reason there's tubes in my arms?"

The air was still and stale. My heart rammed in my chest and it felt like time froze.

That voice.

It was groggily and raspy- barely audible. But I was so sure that- no. It couldn't be.

There was no way.

Was it?

"Hello? Anyone?"

Craig?


End file.
